Thursday, June 10, 2004
yes, it's been a while.i am ready to be detached again, i guess. which is why i'm back here. partially out of practicality, i admit, as i'm halfway around the world from a lot of things&people. but as bk aptly put, the drama does seem to follow me around so maybe they'll hound me here, too? some small part of me says "yes, please do!" because it fills time and space and the huge void that still surfaces from time to time (like on the airplane at half past four this morning, when i unwrapped three small memories one by one and then stopped because the tears started rolling again). the other part says "oh fucking hell just leave me the fuck alone for a couple of months and let me dwell for a bit, goddamnit!" whatever. whatever happens, happens.
m: my big revelation is that I don't cry over boys anymore.
m: I just replace them.
m: :-D
h: i was trying to do that
h: this one didn't work
h: like, i would fill the emptiness with a dozen other boys
h: and then it would sort of do the trick
h: and then after a bit of the initial excitement had worn off i would still be crying
m: who was this boy?
h: my exboyfriend
m: well, that's not giving me much
h: i have no fucking idea
h: apparently taking up less room than before because an email from nat webb just made me giddy
yeah. so that. my dad's here. i'm gone.
posted by styrene at 11:53 PM-comment?
