Monday, March 13, 2006

the ed ruscha interview in the march issue of the believer has led me to write a blog entry because well if ed ruscha couldn't inspire a twentyyearoldgal to do frivolous things for the sake of then who could? i miss loving andy warhol and trying to look like a girl pretending to be boy a in drag and sitting in the dark on warm may nights wearing sunglasses and clutching a book of andy's sketches and telling everyone i was holding hands with him. i want to run away and fall in love and have my heart broken over and over and over again and i thought i had had enough of that and i probably will think that again in the morning but for now i want the life of diane di prima fucking jack kerouac having lesbian orgies losing my virginity by a three-foot wax candle marvelling epiphanying every single day living homeless sleeping on benches in central park posing for pornographic pictures so i can pay for food surviving on a single cup of coffee because a dime is all i have oh god oh god oh god

or the structured starving life of a true poet organizing bibliographies on churchill's poetry writing petrarchan sonnets about thanksgiving dinners and lines like 'as for the fruit, it had no taste' drinking myself to death growing beards wearing bifocals reading reading reading writing writing writing going for a daily walk and scribbling in notebooks with unsteady hands

i fantasize too much.

my life is so sterile.
posted by styrene at 4:47 AM-comment?

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