Sunday, March 26, 2006
i used to have a gigantic crush on tucker carlson, and i told him so at 2004's filming of Crossfire. the exact exchange went as follows:me: mr. carlson, i would just like to say that it's such a shame that you're so damn conservative because you're really, really hot.
carlson: [laughs] oh, thank you.
me: seriously, i've had a crush on you for seven* years.
carlson: really? how old are you now?
me: eighteen. will you sign my existentialism book?
carlson: sure!
carlson proceeds to sign 'very existential to meet you/love, tucker carlson'** on my copy of walter kaufman's existentialism: from dostoevsky to sartre.***
*i may have said eight.
**or so he claims; he has illegible handwriting or tries to write illegibly as to imitate streaks of genius, or fame
***this is similar to the incident with donald hall, in which he pet my coat and signed my copy of hamlet, or rather, forged shakespeare's autograph, as sir william shakespeare himself.
as of late, however, carlson's no. 1 position on the list of my favorite fake blowhard political pundits has been rescinded and instead, someone else has edged himself into the very top. he is none other than Stephen Tyron "Truth" Colbert, of the Colbert Report. just look at him:
"..But on my set, I said, 'I don't want anything behind me, because I am the sun. It all comes from me. I'm not channeling anything. I am the source.'"
which brought me to this post, which is to propose a new role-playing game, revolving around blowhard political pundits, fake or real, much like dungeons and dragons except with political talk show hosts! jon stewart! bill o'reilly! wolf blitzer! and of course, stephen colbert! it will be great!
also, i asked him to marry me.
posted by styrene at 11:19 PM-comment?
