Wednesday, July 07, 2004
hey you know what i just realized? two and a half years ago i was in love with matt and i never talk to him anymore, even though i still have his phone number, email addie and screen name. that's kind of sad. not sad pathetic, just sad.saw danny yesterday, twas nice. we had sushi&i don't think i was quite on par because my trainer had made me do a two hour long workout after i'd done my usual routine that lasts three hours and thus i was supertired.
i am still being superhermit and going places by myself with headphones on, talking to no one. it's probably not good to feel so smug about the fact that i wake up at 6 and have a full day until 10 when i go to sleep, and by full day i mean i go places and i do shit, like hunting down university lectures and exhibits and travelling. but i do feel smug. my mother said a couple of days ago that most people don't decide or act while being acutely conscious of their mortality and then called me an egocentric for being so worried/anxious about aging and illnesses.
duke de h's parcel is in the possession of the family friend who moved into our old house so i have all his treasures and they are not forever lost. i was happy. am. happy, and apparently i'm not allowed to break out the S word on teenage boys, i will forever hail the new dawn, and also maybe go not watch a movie at the drive-in. i'm sort of ready for school to start again because in spite of all the distance&perspective&nonattachment shit i spew, i'm eighteen and i'd rather be kissing&crying than maturely sitting back and accepting flux. andddd not much else. petty gossip. i think i could be in love with everyone, i have a dozen crushes dating as far back as march and they're scattered all over the world and if you never do anything for anyone else you're spared the tragedy of human relationships, but it is good being one chick to many. i just quoted three different writers in that one run-on sentence.
posted by styrene at 1:44 AM-comment?
